How to start the project.

Though at this point in my life I’ve completed my fair share of writing projects, it’s never without kicking and screaming.

Seriously.

The dread of the blank page. The racing thoughts. The ever-present resistance whose goal is to delay your progress and thereby keep you safe from any anticipated criticism, heartbreak, or rejection.

My palms get sweaty just thinking about it.

I’ve spent years observing my patterns of fear, avoidance, and dread around starting creative projects, just wishing there was a different way. A better way.

Well, there is. 

Here’s are the 3 most important lessons I’ve learned over the years to get started and win the battle against the blank page. Because really, starting is the hardest part. 

So less go!

Schedule time to sit with the energy of the project.

This one is both super simple and deceptively difficult.

Allow me to explain.

This advice has been given to me by a friend after I explained how sitting down to write had become a paralyzing experience. I couldn’t get past the mere pressure to produce. Forget setting a word count, I was jumping out of my skin thinking about the mere prospect of getting my ideas out on the page.

And then this friend, unfazed by any of my bullshit artist attempts to convince her how dire and desperate my situation was, gave me a very unexpected gift.

She explained how, in the middle of writing her dissertation, during a particularly turbulent part when nothing was flowing and all hope seemed lost, she sat down at her desk every day, lit her candles and incense, opened her laptop, poured her tea, and allowed herself to simply be in the energy of the project.

Sometimes it looked like staring out the window and thinking about it. Sometimes it would be research. And yes, sometimes it was writing.

This was a breakthrough moment for me, the idea that giving SPACE for your creativity to do what it does best, ie. function in an abstract, dreamy, altogether non-linear way, counts as DOING THE WORK.

Daydreaming about your project counts. Researching counts. Chewing on a problem related to the task at hand counts. You need all of these pieces for forward movement to occur.

There is no better way to strangle your creativity than to force it to produce output like some sort of indentured servant, so take a breath.

Relax your expectations. And trust that if you create the right environment for your creativity to thrive, the progress will follow.

Pay attention to what you’re consuming.

I’ve been in tons of creative spaces where there is an almost obsessive focus on output. On writing daily. Keeping track of word counts. Showing up. Grinding it out.

And I get it. I really, really do.

If writing is in any way, shape of form connected to our livelihood, it’s hard not to develop an intense focus on what, when, and how much we’re producing. But here’s the reality that doesn’t get as much press coverage: input matters more.

And yes, this is a hill I’m willing to fight and die on.

When you’re training for a marathon, you don’t only focus on your run time. (So I hear from those close to me who engage in this madness. My golden rule in life is that I only run when I’m being chased).

As a runner, hydration matters. Nutrition matters. Stretching matters.

And as a writer, what and who you expose yourself to matters.

That critical relative who constantly asks when you’re gonna get a real job?

The endless episodes of reality TV that you’re binge watching?

The friends who complain about their 9-5 life while doing nothing to change their circumstances?

Only you can decide if those things are fuel or poison to your creativity (ie.your output).

And once you do, that leads us to the third piece of advice.

Set boundaries accordingly.

I know. I’ve officially mentioned the B word, which is officially one of the most overused words in the self-help lexicon, right up there with mindfulness and self-care.

Hear me out though.

When I was a younger writer with a lower sense of self-worth and little to no faith in myself, I would get incredibly upset with people who didn’t take me or my writing seriously.

The interesting thing about this was that at the time, I wasn’t technically writing. I wholeheartedly thought (bless my heart) that once other people took me seriously as a writer, then I would magically gain the motivation to sit down and write. 

But that’s just not how it works.

What I’ve learned over time in that in order to be a writer, I need to consistently prioritize writing in my daily life.

And that means setting boundaries with other people/places/things that don’t align with this goal.

Does the kitchen need to be cleaned? Write first, then clean it.

Are negative people in your life making you lose faith in your dreams? You may have to sit down and really get clear with yourself if your support network is actually, well….supportive.

Seek out other creative friends. Join writing communities, whether online or in person. Watch uplifting interviews of creative entrepreneurs who have found success in their chosen fields.

And if you’re still feeling stuck but committed to working through it, hiring a creativity coach may be your next step.

Tying it all together.

It all comes down to this: when you have a creative dream or a mission that you feel strongly about, you HAVE to weed your garden as you walk that path.

There will be people who aren’t ready or willing to come with you on your journey. People whose own shit gets too stirred up when they see you marching to the beat of your own drum. People who are unable to accept that the path to success can be non-traditional, non-linear, and inspired. People whose fear prevents them from chasing their deepest desires, who are triggered to see you chasing yours.

These people can take the shape of a partner, a friend, a parent, or a colleague. And they aren’t bad, they’re simply human.

Here is the most important thing though: DO NOT LISTEN TO THEM.

Feed yourself motivating, nourishing messages of hope and inspiration to drown out their voices.

And if your existing relationships won’t support you where you want to go, then it’s time to make a decision about their role in your life.

Release what no longer serves both of your mutual growth. Grieve the loss of them if you must. Allow space for your own healing to take root. Lay on the floor for a while and listen to Adele to soothe your sensitive soul.

And then, get back up, dust yourself off, and write.